Three

Broken from the moorings
Washed ashore in pieces
Cold and bleached and dried out
Ready for building
Not into previous forms
But into heat and light and beauty
Leaving the old behind
Letting go of what had been
Creation, reformation build anew
Flame and fire, smoke and ash, climb upward
Visible for miles, drawing curious eyes
Inspiring heat and light and beauty
Setting spirits ablaze

Here's the Thing

Let me explain what I learned
Through the years of waiting
Through the hours of holding my tongue
Sitting across from you
Watching you across a room
Handing a glass back and forth across a table
I learned that I can survive in indefinite suspense
I learned that my heart can beat faster and break simultaneously
I learned that wanting something more than anything else
Doesn’t mean anything in the end

Let me explain what I learned
On the day I stopped waiting
When I finally loosed the question I held inside me
Sitting across from you
Watching you across a room
Handing a glass back and forth across a table
I learned that I knew you as well as I thought
I learned that my heart could break into infinitely smaller pieces
I learned that letting go of something I wanted so much
Would cost almost everything in the end

Let me explain what I am learning
Waiting for my heart to choose again
I no longer have to hold my tongue
Sitting across from someone else
Watching him across a room
Handing a glass back and forth across a table
I am learning that something still holds me back
I am learning that my heart is mended but it is not whole
I am learning that risking again is immeasurably more frightening
Knowing losing everything isn’t even the end

Voting for Jakey

Today I thought about him
As I signed on the line
Took the paper to the cubbyhole
Colored in the boxes
Marking my choices
I thought about his big blue eyes
I thought about his quirky humor
I thought about his unique style
And I took a deep breath
Because none of the choices before me
Feel exactly right
And what I want for him
Is a world safe for growing up
A world full of imagination
A world where he won’t be asked to go to war
None of the choices I made
Will accomplish any of those things
But in signing my name
In coloring the boxes
I did all that I could
And I prayed a little prayer of thanks
That I was allowed to mark my choices
That he and I live in a land of freedom
Where everything is not only possible
But safer and easier than so many other places
And I hope he grows up to be thankful for that too
And to sign his own name on the line
Thinking about another kid with big blue eyes




These pictures are copyrighted by my lovely and talented sister Erin. Don't steal them.