At the Saucer

Beer flows freely
And music
And conversation
Winds between

Guards are raised
And lowered
Quickly or slowly
As the minutes tick by

In fleeting connections
And chance encounters
Friendships flourish
And great loves

And plates on walls
Tell stories
Of many glasses raised
Of the passage of time

And I sit
In a crowd tonight
But sometimes solitary
And ponder what it means

Prayer

words travel fast
the speed of thought
the speed of sound
fleeting
washing around and over
until a name is called
until a tone catches an ear
HELP
I am suffering
HELP
I am alone and afraid
HELP
I need you
words interrupting the flow
a voice breaking
in panic
or in despair
from a child
from a parent
from a sibling
from a friend
from a lover
catching attention
focus
yours and mine
and His
a name
a tone
turn our heads
incline our ears
increase - somehow -
the presence
already there

one of these days

one of these days
things will be easier
today's problems will be solved
or abandoned
today's worries will be realized
or forgotten
there will be sunshine
there will be laughter
there will be wholeness
peace will have soaked in deep
one of these days
we will be refreshed
and healed
made new
one of these days
we will look back to today
with its pain and confusion
with its hunger and anger
with its loneliness
and we will recognize the valley
that made the mountain seem so high
we are climbing
we are struggling
and we will reach the top
one of these days

change

sometimes
walking toward one thing
means walking away from another
into the unknown possible

sometimes
shoulders must be squared
breath must be inhaled
and space made for grieving

sometimes
walking from pain and anger
turning away, moving beyond
requires resolve and reinforcements

sometimes
leaving behind blessings from a season passing
takes even more effort, more force of will
and leaves a bigger hole to heal

always
walking toward one thing
means walking away from another
into the unknown possible

reflecting

I don't know the exact moment that it happened
in fact I am still astonished that it actually did

but there was a moment that I woke up
and you weren't the first thing I thought of anymore

your memory began to fade - and the hurt and pain that came with it
and the agony of rejection fell into the abyss

and all that remained were happy memories and some wisdom
your hold on me was entirely loosed and I had truly let you go

and your face does not hold the same draw for me anymore
you are no longer the one I want to give my life and my heart to

and it is deliverance and redemption - this feeling from having set you free
and becoming absolutely free of everything that was never meant to be

i am not yours...i never was
you are not mine...you never were

it is finished

Boundaries

All my walls have gates in them
Or holes where the stones
Have fallen away
Friends are free to come and go
There are no locked doors
Only signposts
And when security is breached
I know again
That perhaps some gates should be locked
Some pastures should be guarded
Some walls should be rebuilt
So that no means no
And yes means yes
So that I am safe to be myself
And so that entrance is coupled
With a remember that being let in
Is a gift