Then and Now and Not Yet

there was a time not long ago
my dreamer’s wish reached out
to every falling star or shimmering rainbow
petitioning for a sunny day with cotton ball clouds
and a red-checked picnic blanket spread
on a shore beside a bright blue glassy sea
and you there, leaning back with legs outstretched
reading aloud while I marveled at your brilliance
and a sailboat rocked gently at anchor
ready to carry us away together

there was a time not long ago
my daydreams always floated toward
a roaring fire on a cold, wet night
lighting a couch in a cozy nook
where we snuggled together sharing a quilt
quietly reading, hot cups of cocoa in our hands
content in the silence broken by crackling wood
wind whipping snow outside into mounds like cream
but we were side by side, safe and warm
hiding away from the world together

there was a time not long ago
when cold indifference broke through those dreams
like water extinguishing flames
leaving no room to hope anymore
the flattest words quenched and crushed and drowned
leaving a shell void of imagination
deflated, defeated, despairing – alone
beaches and firesides empty of sparkle
fog and grey settled in for a long stay
insisting acceptance there would be no together

in a time that is now and not yet
dreams stretch out again claiming new playgrounds
dreams peaceful and hopeful, empty of your face
dreams reaching for passion and wholeness
dreams embracing shorelines and mountaintops
dreams promising adoration returned
always inclulding one hidden in shadows
or with his back turned – one strong and brave
full of Love, this one meant to be in my dreams
the one who wants to build a life together

Kreativity

Kool Aid gave me this delightful award, which comes with an assignment: The recipient is to list 6 things that make him/her happy before subsequently passing forward the glee to others.

First, a poem for the first part.

Haiku List of Delights

1. Reading
new phrasing that makes known
life's very essence showing
simple depth -- old truths

2. Hugging
strong arms enfolding
tightly squeezing warmth surrounds
Love's closeness captured

3. Laughing
out of the belly
giggles and guffaws both come
spilling joyfulness

4. Family
because we are stuck
relating our growth becomes
better together

5. Conversation
ebbs and flows between
bridging experience and
knitting together

6. Jesus
descended to be
all that we are yet divine
His Love cost it all

And Part Two: My Awards List (in no particular order)

Erin - my sister, my friend, the most gifted person I know

Kara - friends like her are priceless treasures, and her blog bridges the frustrating miles between us

Amber - my dear friend who mothers some of my favorite small humans in the world and who also risks communicating the beauty and difficulty of her reality

LouCeeL - such genius and heart shared so openly

Flutter - a true phoenix giving courageous truth

Svensto - such delightful memories shared so eloquently

Almost the Dream

Tonight I said
A perfect night
Would be a glass of wine
And a football game
And a sweet newborn baby to hold
And I was almost right
That is almost the dream
What I forgot
Or didn’t mention
Is that a perfect night
Requires a strong chest to lean on
A strong arm around my shoulder
A second glass on the coffee table
Forgetting or suppressing
The incompleteness of that pictured perfection
Is frightening
Does it mean I’m losing hope
Does it mean I’ve given up
Does it mean I’m beginning to settle
For less
Than everything
Something inside me
Compels me to stand on the highest building
And SHOUT
Loud and insistent
Demanding an audience
When is it my turn
When do I get my chance
When and where and why and how
Are You paying attention
Because I can do without the wine and the ball game
But living without the rest is wearing on me
I am ready for more
And I am holding out
Knowing there is more to come

The Hope of Glory

When You made us
In your image
Your nature
Your essence
Not hidden away
But the core of who we were
You, deep inside us
You, moving within us
You, walking alongside us
You saw all that would be
Our brokenness
Our arrogance
Our anger
Our petty shortsighted selfishness
Murderous jealous rage displacing You
Turning our backs on You inside us
Shoving it deep down
Burying it away
Trapping ourselves
Into meaninglessness
Desperation
Hopelessness
Despair
Until You came for us
When Glory descended
Proclaimed by angels
Shocking in humility
The promise of redemption realized
Power held in check
Perfection sacrificed
Dust and clay
Flesh and bone
Mankind itself
Allowed to inhale
Divine justice and mercy
In one saving breath
So that You with us
God with us
Love with us
Emmanuel
Could once more be
God in us
Love in us
Christ in us
The hope of Glory
As You intended
When You made us
In Your image

In the Quiet

in the quiet
sometimes it seems
like there's nothing
to say about
anything that matters

in the quiet
in the space
between my ears
silence clangs louder
than any muse

in the quiet
echoes remain resounding
ancient blunders disappointment
work to drown
insistent hopeful plans